Royal Decree from the King of Socialitaria

[jftsang]

THE KING OF SOCIALITARIA HEREBY SOLEMNLY ANNOUNCES AND DECREES that no chemicals may henceforth be in the food products of the Socialitarian people. All chemicals are pollutants, and terrorists who attempt to poison the Socialitarian people must be punished. Anybody who is found adding calcium carbonate, the stuff of gravestones and the food of the enemy, shall be incarcerated indefinitely.

Our glorious nation must follow the great example set forth by Duchess Isabel Margaret Right, and prevent the mass-medication of the Socialitarian people.

ISSUED THIS DAY BY HIS MAJESTY JFTSANG, BY THE GRACE OF GOD, OF SOCIALITARIA, DEFENDER OF THE SOCIALITARIAN CHURCH OF KREMATISM, ORDER OF THE HISSIAN EMPIRE, FIRST ORDER OF SOCIALITARIAN CHIVALRY